Remember that great dialogue in fiction does the following four things:
1. Dialogue allows us to show conflict.
2. Dialogue creates tension.
3. Dialogue advances the story.
4. Dialogue reveals character. (indirect characterization)
Here's the secret of dialogue: it's read with the eye, not heard with the ear. You perceive it faster than you hear it. So although spoken dialogue can be provocative, intriguing, and fresh, it can also be wordy, clunky, and vague. The little "ums", "uhs," "you knows," and "likes" slow it down for the reader, as do the redundancies and fillers in actual speech. And whereas real conversation depends on an exchange of information, fictional dialogue has to create character, tension, immediacy, as well as form a compelling design: one long talky paragraph followed by another character's similar monologue just won't cut it.
This is an exercise to help discover the similarities and differences between real speech and fictional dialogue:
Task 1:
In a public place, and without being noticed, collect fifteen line of dialogue from at least five different conversations (i.e., no more than three lines from each conversation). Now select ten of your lines and use them to write a coherent, convincing scene. Feel free to add narrative and dialogue you've created to make your scene hang together. Compare the dialogue you've overheard and the dialogue that you've created for your scene. What are the differences in rhythm, characterization, content, specificity, and resonance between the dialogue you collected and that which you made up? Think about why you selected certain lines of dialogue over others. Finally. use your scene- or a piece of it- as a spark for a new story.
Task 2:
Three Of Us:
Write a one-page scene with three characters in it. Show how the three people all speak differently – the words they use and their speech patterns should not be the same. Examples: The banker, the politician, and the mistress; The robot, the robot’s creator, and the creator’s mother; The personal trainer, the actor, and the actor’s agent.
Name the people.
Use dialogue, body language, and the internal thoughts of the viewpoint character.
Show the setting through their interaction with it.
This exercise will show the characters: how old they are, how they see the world, and how they treat other people. It will also show the relationship dynamics.
**If you are struggling, try imagining the scene. Become one of the characters. Don't think about how you would respond, but how that person you have become would respond.
When you are done, include this writing sample in your writing portfolio.
Dialogue punctuation:
- New line with each new speaker.
- Use double quotation marks.
- Stick with asked, said, says as dialogue tags.
- Use tabbed over paragraphs for ease- we see dialogue when we are reading as much as we hear it.
Example Scene:
“How dare you show up here after what you did?” Dorothy asked, her jaw tight and her eyes squinted in anger. She was whisper-spitting the words, her pale skin and white hair perfectly placed was a stark contrast to her angry set of her eyes.
“You know just as well as I do that Cam would have wanted me here. I’m not saying you have to like it, but you know it’s what she would have wanted.”
“Well, she’s not here anymore, is she? You need to leave.”
“Woah, Ms. Price, come on. They were best friends. Cam wouldn’t want this,” Brann interrupted, his smile uneasy, a crooked line, one side up in question, the other side unsure of what to do.
Julia tried to convey with her eyes that he shouldn’t get involved, but he was looking at Dorothy with what must have been surprise. Dorothy’s disdain was saved for Julia; everyone else seemed to get a much different version of Cam’s mom.
“Dorothy, I would like to come in. I’ll keep the visit short, say hello, and talk with Hudson. Then I’ll go. I promise I want to be here just slightly more than you want me to not be here.”
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